My writers toolbox

MILLY’S WISH

We heard Milly whisper something about two trampolines, a chocolate fountain, and a mischievous parrot.

Here’s the trick: whatever you write, leave us feeling hungry by the end.

Over to you, fudge brownie.

 

Milly loves sweets so much that she would love to make a house of lollipops and other sweets. when she heard a word like apples or bananas she would make a face of disgust then run and hide so she doesn’t have to eat it. Milly was sleepy so she went to bed and fell asleep. then she heard someone scream and she got up to see what it was. it turns out it was her mum screaming because the house had become a chocolate pool she swam and swam. then her alarm went off she woke with a fright. It was school time. when she came home from her dreadful day of school she asked her mum “what’s for dinner,” she yelled. her mum said “roast lamb and with roast vege” for dinner and all the lollies you can think of for pudding.” “REALLY” she said.

Here is my feedback and something I’m doing well

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